The Mongolian Baseball Player

photo, quai du louvre, dark sky, bicylist, ray of sunshine Tricky weather on the Quai du Louvre.

And the Fat Parts of Tuna

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Thursday, 27. March:–  It seems like it's been a long week since the last club meeting, probably on account of me being in New York and Philadelphia researching hamburgers for the past five weeks. In fact I was going to write about the Brooklyn Bridge and Saint Patrick's Day, and some other sandwiches, but I ate them instead.

When you were last here I was moaning about my TV–via–Internet being on the fritz, preventing me from doing a proper weather report. The good news is that the new decoder is coming tomorrow. This means that tonight's weather update will be brief and possibly inaccurate. Thank me for brief if you want.

But first a word about today's weather in Paris. It was sunny like it gets in March. Blinding! Luckily there were some dense clouds, some holding water, and there was some wind as well. Depending on the minute, we got all of it, repeatedly. Very exciting, quite colorful, and refreshing. Not a dull moment.

photo, orange of the week at last After extra long absence, the
Orange of the Week.

Now today's Le Parisien says that tomorrow, Friday, will give us – wait for it! – more of the same. Maybe without the blinding sunshine, but hey, who likes teasing? Okay, no tease, just some rain. Horizontal, depending on the wind. As I saw today, don't waste your time with umbrellas. Finally, how does a temperature of 12 sound? To me it's ghastly, but hell, it's spring and these things happen.

Saturday should be quite different, with rain taken out of the equation, replaced by mostly sunny. It doesn't matter if I believe in this. It'll be windy again too. The temperature is supposed to be 13 degrees. It could even be possible.

For those who missed them on Saturday, April's showers should be back on Sunday. At 16 degrees it will be warm enough to sing in the rain, dance, skip, ride a bike, whatever. Leave the umbrella at home if it isn't already wrecked, for there will be breezes. Probably a good day for studying wretched art in some musty, but dry, world–famous museum.

The Mongolian Baseball Player of the Week Report

It was a wonderful day for a club meeting but no club members except the club's secretary took advantage of it. Monsieur Ferrat, the occasional Waiter of the Week, was back from his holidays, and there were a fair number of other folks in the café's grande salle, eating copious amounts of over–fried cheese.

Never have I spent a duller hour reading the paper. This was partly because I skipped the entire section detailing the visit of the Sarkozys to see the Queen Grandmom of Blighty. Full disclosure – I skipped the live TV report about her Coronation too. However the marriage on page IV was interesting. Everybody showed up in time except for the deputy mayor who was 300 km away at the time. The wedding party refused to leave the Mairie until the marriage happened. The bride was 60.

photo, yoko and her hat Yoko and her baseball cap.

Equally surprising was the tardy arrival of beloved club member Yoko just as I was skipping the TV program on account of my no functionar TV. It was good to see her again. She was in Japan about the time I was watching the Saint Paddy parade on 5th Avenue in New York on the anniversary of my first report from Paris for the Internet.

She did not bring any frozen poison fish for me. That's okay because I got a small box of Lübecker Marzipan yesterday from a colleague in the biz. Then Yoko said, "You look very sleepy."

That launched a discussion about baseball in Japan. At first I thought Yoko said some of the best, toughest, players were Mongolians. But when she said that Bulgarians are also big in the league there, I tried to listen more carefully until it became clear that she was talking about sumo wrestlers.

Yoko didn't pout. I bet she was thinking about those frozen poison fish. We got the sumo guys out of the way and she drew me a baseball map of Japan. Everybody should pay attention here. The Tigers are in the east, which is also the north. The Giants are in the west, which is also the south. It makes sense if you think of Japan as a cigar kind of floating the the Sea of Japan diagonally. Finally, there are other teams too, but of no interest here.

Sumo wrestlers get paid in cash, in fat envelopes, right out in the open where everybody can see what's going on. When I asked, Yoko said this wasn't done under the table. Right in plain sight! If I ever get my TV working I will look it up.

How fish got into this I don't remember. Apparently sumo wrestlers eat fish, especially the fat parts of tuna. Yoko assured me that there are fat parts of every tuna and that all Japanese think they are special, not just sumo wrestlers. Very expensive though. I asked if sumo wrestlers married. Yoko blushed.

photo, terrace, cafe la corona Terrace life in Paris.

I should have asked if there are lady sumo wrestlers. I just thought of it now. She did say that sumo wrestlers have pains in the knees and the ankles. Every sport has its downside I guess. All that cash and wobbly knees.

Since this is about Paris I guess everyone wants to know what is going on in Paris besides the weather. Frankly I do not know. The TV is not functioning. Le Parisien is more forthcoming about Windsor Palace. Yoko is looking for a job, a real job. I think she said all the offers of theatre work are screwing things up. I paid for her tiny bottle of water. Then we agreed to meet again some day and I went home because I was sleepy.

About the Café Metropole Club

Wrap your fingers around your mouse to see a club meeting report stuffed in a rathole somewhere in these very pages. No less thrilling than reading the paper during club meetings but nothing is seldom perfect. A clue about what we might have been doing today may help and can be found on the About the Café Metropole Club webpage.

graphic, club location map

Patazone Returns East

Like all half unrehearsed Thursdays , semi out of control and on occasion, like today, one wonderful member. Club meetings run from 15:00 to 17:00 on Thursdays. The next meeting will be on Thursday, 3. April. The metric times are the same as 3 to 5 pm around other unmetric places, while meetings are held right here. Whatever you feel like saying can be heard by the other members present if there are any and if they are listening, and sometimes they are, but not always.* Your other, absolutely true, stories are totally welcome too even if they are true.

Caution – should you have a personal desire to remain unfindable via the Web, be sure to inform the club's secretary that you prefer to be 404 – not found by Web search engines before becoming found. Stay unfound if you must.

*The above paragraphs are relatively unchanged since the last meeting because it was so long ago. There was time to change them but I was busy eating things. Read all about it on Monday.

The café's location is:

Café–Tabac La Corona
2. Rue de l'Amiral de Coligny – or – 30. Quai du Louvre
Paris 1. Métro: Louvre–Rivoli, Pont–Neuf or Châtelet.
Every Thursday, from 15:00 to 17:00.
Next club meeting on Thursday, 3. April.

A bientôt à Paris
signature, regards, ric

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