Swoon, Oh Swoon

photo, waterfall, park bercy, spring sunshine, kids Spring means kids and water.

Sunny, Sunny, Sunny

by Ric Erickson

Paris:– Monday, 5. May:–  I set off on a harmless errand last Wednesday without making a 360 degree scan of the horizon. As I got closer to the fabled Tour Montparnasse the sky directly ahead was getting sombre. Hell, it got pitch black. In front of the station the wind picked up and began to blow dreck and flotsam every which way. I was almost to the shopping gallery when the cork fell out and there was a deluge, mixed with hail for those impervious to mere water. Inside of 20 seconds I was soaked. But that was the past:

Sunballs Partout

It just goes to show that April always has one last punch left even on the final day. Since then the breezes have been mild, the clouds have been white and harmless and the temperature has been flirting with values not to be sneered at in June. If we were campers we would be happy and extraordinarily frisky. But we are not campers so all we need is a café with a terrace and a waiter, some free time and a little bit of moola.

photo, babes, wallace fountain Spring means babes and water.

Am I sure? Last night the TV–news made its week–long forecast, and starting about Thursday the reliability was only rated at 2 out of 5. Usually they don't show values that unlikely. But don't worry. Tonight's forecast was better than good enough. On Tuesday Paris is supposed to have France's top temperature. 25 degrees! Nothing but sun in the sky and more with Wednesday to have 24 and Thursday is supposed to be equally sunny with 25 degrees again. It'll be just like the tourist postcards.

With observant observations from Météo Jim we can rip April off the calendar and consider May. The season is ripe for Moms, so here is his new ultra brief version of how it will be in Pommeland:–

Les Temps des Rainies

A cool front arrived on the last Monday of April and kept temperatures in the low 50s a–grad. The temperature slowly climbed into the upper 60s when the first significant rain in over two weeks arrived to knock the pollen out of the air and fertilize the fields. The past weekend was cloudy and cool once again, as though early April was still on the calendar.

The start of the second full week of May is celebrated by la Fête des Mères. Bring your Mama to Paris to celebrate her special day. To make it even more special, bring her to the club meeting on May 8. Whether she will ever forgive you for doing that is up to her.

photo, sign, v p plaque, ratp, metro line 6

As for le temps de la semaine avant la Fête des Mères, the TV groundhog reporters have been constantly changing their furry minds. The latest prognostication proudly predicts temperatures in the upper 60s to low 70s. The week and Monday will start off sunny but the cloudies will make an appearance and morph into the rainies for Thursday and Friday but then change again into the cloudies for the weekend.

A la prochaine, Météo Jim

Café Life

Those Frigos

As far as I know my life is not excessively haunted. At the club last Thursday there was a bit of discussion about Les Frigos because Stephan intended to make a photo op out of something secret but similar and since he refused to tell us, we teased him with stories about Les Frigos. Tossing the phrase into Metropole's search – on page 49 – will turn up the details for you.

photo, reminder of rain, montparnasse Spring means forgetting stuff like this.

There are club meeting and all the rest is real life, so I was out Saturday looking for the usual something, and that's in the following piece. Half an hour before midnight on Saturday while I was tooling the day's photos I heard a loose–sounding click. Before I could react – to do what? – the lights went out. At first I couldn't figure it out because I could still hear Saturday afternoon WNYC from New York via Internet radio but everything else was dark except the streetlights outside.

I found my trusty flashlight and looked at the electronic fuse box. I pushed the on switch and it pushed back. I looked out in the hall and tried its light. It worked. I looked outside at the back yard and there were some lights on. I went back to the box and turned all the switches off, I think. Then I turned them on and turned on the main switch. The telephone chirped and clack, the main switch shut down.

This gizmo in my entry hall is the same otto that EDF wants me to look at and record the numbers for them. Which of the eight sets of number do they want? I played around with it a bit. Finally I discovered that there was only one circuit that seemed no functionar. My refrigerator seemed to be having a sort of a snit. In fact it was playing dead.

I don't know about you but I don't think much of calling the fixit folks at midnight on Saturday. They have a special rate for anybody who does. I decided I could live with warm orange juice in the morning.

In the morning I had warm orange juice and warm fruit and warm yogi. It wasn't as good as I hoped. By then the ice was melting too so I took care of it with a bunch of platters and bowls and a red bucket. This took several shifts throughout the day. I escaped food poisoning for dinner but I don't know how.

I phoned for help earlier today. The first good news – the phone worked, after a refresher read of the user manual. The electro expert I reached said I should turn everything on the circuit off. Then turn them on one by one, and see what fizzled. I did this. It was the frigo. Totally unplugged, everything else was okay. I thought, the expert didn't offer to come and fix the frigo – therefore it can't be fixed because it's a piece of cheap junk.

photo, grand canyon, pool at bercy Spring means – what is this stuff?

Luckily the cheap junk electro salesroom is only a 10–minute walk away. It's the same place that pays for the weather report on TV. They show a kitten like the MGM lion. It goes mee for Internet and it goes mee for telephone and then for TV it goes growlroar. It's got crazy eyes too. At the end of the weather it does something completely different.

I snagged a salesperson right away and she led me to the cheap frigos. I waved off the hotcha–luxo ones, and ordered the second cheapest, costing a whole 10€ more than the cheapest. She apologized for the slowness of the store's Intranet but I didn't care. I figured I was saving at least 250 euros off the cost of an expert repair. A two–year guarantee was included. I didn't want anything else, like a 42cm TV, so I left.

If you think it's looney to write this much about my dud frigo I agree with you. But just think – we had MayDay and there we were talking about Les Frigos and then the sun came out and it got all warm and it's really comfortable with all the windows open all day, and now we have a forecast for more of the same – spring at last! – so what else could my cheap frigo do? Pheweey! Warm fake beer is horrible too.


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